My teeth hurt
My head hurts
My eyes hurt
My lower back hurts
Monday, October 17, 2011
Today is October 17, 2011
I have board the Dragon recognition to voice set up and today I am trying it out.
I want to see if there is a difference in talking to a story
or writing it out.
I am hungry tonight
Today the water pump broke and the and the guys had to come and install a new water pump.
The young girl laughsed and hid her head in her hands.
The wind was blowing and the leaves were swirling at her feet.
Her red hair twirled in the wind and her light yellow dress twirled around her form. just as the autumn leaves were whirling round the tree which stood behind her the wind picked up her red hair twirled it around like a sudden windstorm
I have board the Dragon recognition to voice set up and today I am trying it out.
I want to see if there is a difference in talking to a story
or writing it out.
I am hungry tonight
Today the water pump broke and the and the guys had to come and install a new water pump.
The young girl laughsed and hid her head in her hands.
The wind was blowing and the leaves were swirling at her feet.
Her red hair twirled in the wind and her light yellow dress twirled around her form. just as the autumn leaves were whirling round the tree which stood behind her the wind picked up her red hair twirled it around like a sudden windstorm
Each man is his own
yet no man walks alone
for in the silence of a soul
there is a presence sometimes forgotten and unknown.
Time is fleeting
moments to be remembered or lost
as a Robin when he sings in flight
soaring in delight
or as a child' S reflection in a Lake
mirrored in there the reflections of one's own thought
Yes, you and I have a timeless eternity
whereby smiles, laughter or a tilting of the head
can cause memories that are either a treasure or a loss
yet no man walks alone
for in the silence of a soul
there is a presence sometimes forgotten and unknown.
Time is fleeting
moments to be remembered or lost
as a Robin when he sings in flight
soaring in delight
or as a child' S reflection in a Lake
mirrored in there the reflections of one's own thought
Yes, you and I have a timeless eternity
whereby smiles, laughter or a tilting of the head
can cause memories that are either a treasure or a loss
Monday, August 22, 2011
the path
meghan had done as she was told
and sure enought she had come across
the gray house set back from the road
and there was a miller road
that mr. smith had talked about
but it was more like a path and not a road.
it was big enough for a cart
like the one she was pulling
but nothing else would fit down
this road,
she had to be crazy to do this
and she scolder herself out loud.
meghan, you are a fool.
walking down a path
that leads god knows where
and lugging a cart that has
god knows what in it.
be quiet meghan whispered.
she took her advice and stopped in
the path listening to the dark and
the sounds of the night.
and sure enought she had come across
the gray house set back from the road
and there was a miller road
that mr. smith had talked about
but it was more like a path and not a road.
it was big enough for a cart
like the one she was pulling
but nothing else would fit down
this road,
she had to be crazy to do this
and she scolder herself out loud.
meghan, you are a fool.
walking down a path
that leads god knows where
and lugging a cart that has
god knows what in it.
be quiet meghan whispered.
she took her advice and stopped in
the path listening to the dark and
the sounds of the night.
the cart
meghan hit the floor of the road
and was momentarily knocked out
when she opened her eyes
the two wheeled cart was
on its side in a ditch with
one of the wheels still spinning
she tried to move
but her leg was hurting
she rubbed her forehead and felt
a bump just above her right eye
fine, she said.
i am going to get hell for this.
not only for the cart
but what wss in the cart
all mr. smith's art deco and paraphernalia
for turning out his antiquated designs
or so called future art he said
she put her hands palm down in the road
and forced herself to sit up
she didn't know how long she laid there
and she knew it was just by luck she hadn't
gotten run over by one of those new fangled
inventions that she had seen in mr. smith's
lab when he invited her in and showed her some kind of
four wheeled cart on a picture window that he had invented
something for the future he said.
in the middle of the night there had been a ruckus
downstairs and she had huddled at the top of the stairs
trying to hear what was going on.
there were three gentlemen's voices that she could discern
coming from the sitting room and she heard mr. smith yelling
that he wouldn't do it.
then she heard the front door open and slam shut.
he had come upstairs then
and she had run back to her room.
he had banged on her door.
meghan, get dressed, i have something for you to do.
yes, mr. smnith, i'll be right out.
she had thrown on a dress
and met him at the top of the stairs.
pack a suitcase you have to leave.
but it's 2 o'clock in the morning she replied.
"you have to leave."
"who were those men?"
"it doesn't matter. pack a suitcase,
and i'll meet you downstairs.
she had returned to her room and packed a light
suitcase.
and met mr. smith at the bottom of the stairs.
take the cart in the back and go to this address
in smithhall. i've packed one of my inventions
in the back of the cart and covered it with
some old clothes.
what is it said meghan
it's just some of my art equipment.
art equipment, said meghan.
yes, it's something new that i am working on.
smithhall is six hours from here.
i know. i know. he replied.
stay on the road unitl you come to miller place road
miller place road, inquired meghan
i've never heard of it.
well, it's there
two miles down you will see a large gray house on the right
miller road is the next road in. now, go, before they come
back.
what about you, mr. smith?
i'll be leaving too, but there are a few things i have to
clean up in the lab before i leave
now, go, and be careful.
and was momentarily knocked out
when she opened her eyes
the two wheeled cart was
on its side in a ditch with
one of the wheels still spinning
she tried to move
but her leg was hurting
she rubbed her forehead and felt
a bump just above her right eye
fine, she said.
i am going to get hell for this.
not only for the cart
but what wss in the cart
all mr. smith's art deco and paraphernalia
for turning out his antiquated designs
or so called future art he said
she put her hands palm down in the road
and forced herself to sit up
she didn't know how long she laid there
and she knew it was just by luck she hadn't
gotten run over by one of those new fangled
inventions that she had seen in mr. smith's
lab when he invited her in and showed her some kind of
four wheeled cart on a picture window that he had invented
something for the future he said.
in the middle of the night there had been a ruckus
downstairs and she had huddled at the top of the stairs
trying to hear what was going on.
there were three gentlemen's voices that she could discern
coming from the sitting room and she heard mr. smith yelling
that he wouldn't do it.
then she heard the front door open and slam shut.
he had come upstairs then
and she had run back to her room.
he had banged on her door.
meghan, get dressed, i have something for you to do.
yes, mr. smnith, i'll be right out.
she had thrown on a dress
and met him at the top of the stairs.
pack a suitcase you have to leave.
but it's 2 o'clock in the morning she replied.
"you have to leave."
"who were those men?"
"it doesn't matter. pack a suitcase,
and i'll meet you downstairs.
she had returned to her room and packed a light
suitcase.
and met mr. smith at the bottom of the stairs.
take the cart in the back and go to this address
in smithhall. i've packed one of my inventions
in the back of the cart and covered it with
some old clothes.
what is it said meghan
it's just some of my art equipment.
art equipment, said meghan.
yes, it's something new that i am working on.
smithhall is six hours from here.
i know. i know. he replied.
stay on the road unitl you come to miller place road
miller place road, inquired meghan
i've never heard of it.
well, it's there
two miles down you will see a large gray house on the right
miller road is the next road in. now, go, before they come
back.
what about you, mr. smith?
i'll be leaving too, but there are a few things i have to
clean up in the lab before i leave
now, go, and be careful.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
a changed woman
i don't feel like a new woman
i feel like a new creature in god
one who has met the something in nothing.
i don't know if met is the right word
i don't know if it is felt
i didn't feel it
i innately knew that there was something in nothing.
i was sitting outside on the deck the other day when i
thought of a word to describe myself
hermit.
yes, hermit.
the word just came to me
i was as surprised of the word as it was of me.
i went to england
and did centering every day
morning and evening for an hour
i got up had two cups of coffee
and then would open up the patio doors
sit in my chair wrapped in a shawl and
commence my centering.
i like it very much.
you might say i like it too much.
i meditated in the ruins and it was a treat.
i am so caught up in honoring my god
that that is all that i can think of
he is the creator
i am his creature
thank you
thank you
i love you
love you
love you.
i am starting to go to mass and communion in the morning
i am realizing that i carry the christ god within me
i am his hernmitage
and it excites me
and pulls my breath away.
i met self in england
and it wasn't any big thing
but it is everything
it grounds you
pulls you down to your inside
everything is calm there
everything is ok there.
i realize i want to honor love and serve god
in this world and be happy with him in the next.
being
david frentte was right
being is where it is at
we just don't know it.
once we have tasted being
there is no going back
i think now i can teach centering prayer because
now i know where it is going.
each one of us is indeed different
and centering will take you on a journey
the likes of which you and i in our feeble minds of
understanding can never comprehend.
i think about ego
maybe ego will get involved in this
i pat her on the head
a little push on the butt and ego is
skipping away
happy to know that i still love her
and why wouldn't i she is part of this journey too.
imagine if everyone became aware of self ---
then i realized there are different degrees of awareness.
i am 70 and i wonder where it is going to take me.
i decided for the rest of the year
august 16th through december 31st it is going to be a
prayerful year for me.
wake up at 6:30
good morning god
jump out of bed
toiletries
one cup of coffee.
murphy
welcoming prayer
one hour centering a.m.
i am soft to change - orange sun with my arms upraised and my hands extended
in praise.
affirmation
i am open to being vulnerable.
spiritual reading.
lectio
journal
cleaning house
curves.
two hours writing in the library.
lunch.
reading.
centering p.m.
spanish
dinner
quiet reflection or
spiritual reading.
bed.
bed at 8:30 or 9.
i feel like a new creature in god
one who has met the something in nothing.
i don't know if met is the right word
i don't know if it is felt
i didn't feel it
i innately knew that there was something in nothing.
i was sitting outside on the deck the other day when i
thought of a word to describe myself
hermit.
yes, hermit.
the word just came to me
i was as surprised of the word as it was of me.
i went to england
and did centering every day
morning and evening for an hour
i got up had two cups of coffee
and then would open up the patio doors
sit in my chair wrapped in a shawl and
commence my centering.
i like it very much.
you might say i like it too much.
i meditated in the ruins and it was a treat.
i am so caught up in honoring my god
that that is all that i can think of
he is the creator
i am his creature
thank you
thank you
i love you
love you
love you.
i am starting to go to mass and communion in the morning
i am realizing that i carry the christ god within me
i am his hernmitage
and it excites me
and pulls my breath away.
i met self in england
and it wasn't any big thing
but it is everything
it grounds you
pulls you down to your inside
everything is calm there
everything is ok there.
i realize i want to honor love and serve god
in this world and be happy with him in the next.
being
david frentte was right
being is where it is at
we just don't know it.
once we have tasted being
there is no going back
i think now i can teach centering prayer because
now i know where it is going.
each one of us is indeed different
and centering will take you on a journey
the likes of which you and i in our feeble minds of
understanding can never comprehend.
i think about ego
maybe ego will get involved in this
i pat her on the head
a little push on the butt and ego is
skipping away
happy to know that i still love her
and why wouldn't i she is part of this journey too.
imagine if everyone became aware of self ---
then i realized there are different degrees of awareness.
i am 70 and i wonder where it is going to take me.
i decided for the rest of the year
august 16th through december 31st it is going to be a
prayerful year for me.
wake up at 6:30
good morning god
jump out of bed
toiletries
one cup of coffee.
murphy
welcoming prayer
one hour centering a.m.
i am soft to change - orange sun with my arms upraised and my hands extended
in praise.
affirmation
i am open to being vulnerable.
spiritual reading.
lectio
journal
cleaning house
curves.
two hours writing in the library.
lunch.
reading.
centering p.m.
spanish
dinner
quiet reflection or
spiritual reading.
bed.
bed at 8:30 or 9.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
reflections
i was doing my centering
when i got two pictures
the first i don't remember
the second was a woman pulling a cart
she was a young girl with tangles of brown
hair sneaking out from beneath her white skull cap.
she had on a black dress
tight on the top which outlined her full womanly bosom
there was a white big just meeting the front of her chest
and the middle of her back.
her skirt was black and flared out as she walked and
met her ankles which were covered in black stockings.
her shoes were heeled and black.
meghan bent over and took a deep breath
her legs were tired
and her tongue darted out and wiped the moisture from her upper lip
she had been at this for two hours and did not know how much longer
she could keep up.
her hands were wrapped around the handles of the cart and she could
feel nothing in them except a dull ache
they seemed to be cramped into position
and her mind went to her pinkie and she told it to wnrap itself from
the tight grip but it was like the pinkie had its own life
and it was there to stay with the rest of her four fingers
tightly wrapped around the piece of wood as if her hand was of
one mind.
her mind traveled to her feet
and she tried to wiggle her big toe
she concentrated as hard as she could
and yes finally she felt a wiggle
she moved her big toe and then the next all the
way down the line to her small toe
she did the right foot first
and satisfied that she had some control of her right foot
she moved to the left
this was a little bit more difficult
as her left big toe just stood quiet
she couldn't make it move
she tried thinking extra hard
and put all her thoughts into moving all five left
toes at once.
it was at that moment that the wheel of the cart got
stuck in a rut
and meghan felt herself going to one side
she tried to regain her footing
but because she had no feeling in her left foot
there was nothing she could do but follow the handle
until her hand was in mid air and her left ankle gave
way and she followed the cart and landed up on the floor
of the road in a panic.
when i got two pictures
the first i don't remember
the second was a woman pulling a cart
she was a young girl with tangles of brown
hair sneaking out from beneath her white skull cap.
she had on a black dress
tight on the top which outlined her full womanly bosom
there was a white big just meeting the front of her chest
and the middle of her back.
her skirt was black and flared out as she walked and
met her ankles which were covered in black stockings.
her shoes were heeled and black.
meghan bent over and took a deep breath
her legs were tired
and her tongue darted out and wiped the moisture from her upper lip
she had been at this for two hours and did not know how much longer
she could keep up.
her hands were wrapped around the handles of the cart and she could
feel nothing in them except a dull ache
they seemed to be cramped into position
and her mind went to her pinkie and she told it to wnrap itself from
the tight grip but it was like the pinkie had its own life
and it was there to stay with the rest of her four fingers
tightly wrapped around the piece of wood as if her hand was of
one mind.
her mind traveled to her feet
and she tried to wiggle her big toe
she concentrated as hard as she could
and yes finally she felt a wiggle
she moved her big toe and then the next all the
way down the line to her small toe
she did the right foot first
and satisfied that she had some control of her right foot
she moved to the left
this was a little bit more difficult
as her left big toe just stood quiet
she couldn't make it move
she tried thinking extra hard
and put all her thoughts into moving all five left
toes at once.
it was at that moment that the wheel of the cart got
stuck in a rut
and meghan felt herself going to one side
she tried to regain her footing
but because she had no feeling in her left foot
there was nothing she could do but follow the handle
until her hand was in mid air and her left ankle gave
way and she followed the cart and landed up on the floor
of the road in a panic.
library time
i'm in the library thinking of what to write.
list
1. take murphy to vet
2. find out about transfer of car.
3. do grocery shopping.
4. sign up for september
5. thinking of six months october and november florida
december january february ecquador.
march florida. april back home
6. do maspeth house
backyard
garbage
termites
appraised
stoop done.
7. check with lawyer.
8. do t.v. room $8000.
have 22, minus seven equals 16,000 minus 8 equals 8.
9. call doctor for knee
call doctor for chloresterol
call doctor for eyes
list
1. take murphy to vet
2. find out about transfer of car.
3. do grocery shopping.
4. sign up for september
5. thinking of six months october and november florida
december january february ecquador.
march florida. april back home
6. do maspeth house
backyard
garbage
termites
appraised
stoop done.
7. check with lawyer.
8. do t.v. room $8000.
have 22, minus seven equals 16,000 minus 8 equals 8.
9. call doctor for knee
call doctor for chloresterol
call doctor for eyes
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
changed woman
i went to england
and did centering twice a day
an hour in the a.m.
an hour in the p.m.
i sat in the ruins of the abbey
and rested.
it was delightful
this rest
so this is what the monks and nuns
were always talking about.
i was right there is something in nothing.
this is what i want to do
centering prayer
it solidifies me
doris
and did centering twice a day
an hour in the a.m.
an hour in the p.m.
i sat in the ruins of the abbey
and rested.
it was delightful
this rest
so this is what the monks and nuns
were always talking about.
i was right there is something in nothing.
this is what i want to do
centering prayer
it solidifies me
doris
changed woman
grounded in presence
grounded in awareness
presencing
i am tired.
i don't know what to write about.
i don't want to write today.
each man is his own
yet no man walks alone
for in the silence of a soul
there is a presence sometimes forgotten and unknown
what do people's faces tell thee o little one
what is there
can you see beneath the veil
or maybe a fleeting glance
a momentary glimmer
loneliness suffering joy
all these the face expresses
how many stop to look
how many are satisfied with the veil
who do not bother to brush it aside
one look
one glance
can communicate the heart's desire
yes, there are many faces
some of which are masked
just waiting waiting for the lingering look of another
time is fleeting
moments to be remembered or lost
as a robin when he sings in flight
soaring soaring in delight
or a child's reflection in a lake
mirrored there the reflections of one's own thought
yes, you and i each one of us have a timeless eternity
whereby smiles laughter or a tilting of a head
can be either a treasure or a loss
oh little white rose
what part in god's plan has thee
silently your petals unfold
each a new mystery
your place is there admist the thorns
a light to those that flock to thee.
i closed my eyes
and in the quiet
i heard nothing
i went round and round
and still heard nothing
i closed my eyes and rested
in the silence i had
scaled new heights
the thought of which i did not know
i like it there
i stayed for awhile
rested
first my mind went quiet
then my body rested
and felt comforted and relaxed
then self met self
and i was happy.
grounded in awareness
presencing
i am tired.
i don't know what to write about.
i don't want to write today.
each man is his own
yet no man walks alone
for in the silence of a soul
there is a presence sometimes forgotten and unknown
what do people's faces tell thee o little one
what is there
can you see beneath the veil
or maybe a fleeting glance
a momentary glimmer
loneliness suffering joy
all these the face expresses
how many stop to look
how many are satisfied with the veil
who do not bother to brush it aside
one look
one glance
can communicate the heart's desire
yes, there are many faces
some of which are masked
just waiting waiting for the lingering look of another
time is fleeting
moments to be remembered or lost
as a robin when he sings in flight
soaring soaring in delight
or a child's reflection in a lake
mirrored there the reflections of one's own thought
yes, you and i each one of us have a timeless eternity
whereby smiles laughter or a tilting of a head
can be either a treasure or a loss
oh little white rose
what part in god's plan has thee
silently your petals unfold
each a new mystery
your place is there admist the thorns
a light to those that flock to thee.
i closed my eyes
and in the quiet
i heard nothing
i went round and round
and still heard nothing
i closed my eyes and rested
in the silence i had
scaled new heights
the thought of which i did not know
i like it there
i stayed for awhile
rested
first my mind went quiet
then my body rested
and felt comforted and relaxed
then self met self
and i was happy.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
hi, i'm meghan
yeah, so, said the voice from behind the counter.
well, i am here to teach the course on centering.
oh, yeah, right, well put all your belongings in the tray
wallet, loose change, your bag
we'll search it and then you can go through the detector
and the woman officer will pat you down.
oh, okay,
i didn't realize
yes, it's standard procedure now
everybody gets searched
no exceptions.
oh, okay.
meghan slipped off her kit gloves
and put her small bag in the
rectangular plastic box
she unbuttoned her jacket and put it
on the counter.
the officer felt the sleeves
turned the pockets inside out
and then felt the back of the jacket
everything must have been okay
because he laid it on the table and
then said,
okay, you can go through the detector now.
meghan took a breath
and pushed her shoulders back
and lifted her chin slightly
and walked through the detector that looked like
a door frame.
the woman office met her and motioned her to the side
lift your arms
and hold them out straight
she did as she was told
and the young woman officer felt her arms
tapped the front of her and
said excuse me, and tapped her stomach
turn around she said
and meghan did as she was told
her buttocks were patted and her legs hastily
touched
she's okay, pat,
all right you can get your stuff now
the policewoman said.
meghan retrieved her personal items
and was directed to follow the red arrows
on the floor to the next part of the building
where she would be told what to do next.
in all it took her 45 minutes to get processed
and find herself in the classroom where she would
ultimately teach centering to a group of inmates.
she had wanted to do this for a long time
but didn't feel that her own centering was going anywhere
sometimes she still didn't, but she kept doing it
nonetheless.
maybe someone in this group wold find solace and comfort
from the practice
she could only hope that they would.
yeah, so, said the voice from behind the counter.
well, i am here to teach the course on centering.
oh, yeah, right, well put all your belongings in the tray
wallet, loose change, your bag
we'll search it and then you can go through the detector
and the woman officer will pat you down.
oh, okay,
i didn't realize
yes, it's standard procedure now
everybody gets searched
no exceptions.
oh, okay.
meghan slipped off her kit gloves
and put her small bag in the
rectangular plastic box
she unbuttoned her jacket and put it
on the counter.
the officer felt the sleeves
turned the pockets inside out
and then felt the back of the jacket
everything must have been okay
because he laid it on the table and
then said,
okay, you can go through the detector now.
meghan took a breath
and pushed her shoulders back
and lifted her chin slightly
and walked through the detector that looked like
a door frame.
the woman office met her and motioned her to the side
lift your arms
and hold them out straight
she did as she was told
and the young woman officer felt her arms
tapped the front of her and
said excuse me, and tapped her stomach
turn around she said
and meghan did as she was told
her buttocks were patted and her legs hastily
touched
she's okay, pat,
all right you can get your stuff now
the policewoman said.
meghan retrieved her personal items
and was directed to follow the red arrows
on the floor to the next part of the building
where she would be told what to do next.
in all it took her 45 minutes to get processed
and find herself in the classroom where she would
ultimately teach centering to a group of inmates.
she had wanted to do this for a long time
but didn't feel that her own centering was going anywhere
sometimes she still didn't, but she kept doing it
nonetheless.
maybe someone in this group wold find solace and comfort
from the practice
she could only hope that they would.
the jail
meghan woke up and with her eyes still
shut her right hand found the alarm clock
on the left side of her bed and her hands
found the snooze button and she pushed it.
ten more minutes
and then she would be up
her mind was fuzzy but through the haze of
last night's sleep she knew today was different.
she shook her mind for a second
what was different
oh, yes, today was her first day teaching at the jail.
she couldn't believe they had finally let her in
she was going to show them a new path
one which she had travelled for ove 25 years
and now she got to give back.
she remembered what cynthia had said that
one weekendi n june
if you can start over here doing what you'll be
doing when you pass why not?
yes, why not indeed thought meghan.
centering prayer took her on her own journey.
her journey was different than the others
they would have to find their own path
their own truth
if she could help in some small way
why not.
shut her right hand found the alarm clock
on the left side of her bed and her hands
found the snooze button and she pushed it.
ten more minutes
and then she would be up
her mind was fuzzy but through the haze of
last night's sleep she knew today was different.
she shook her mind for a second
what was different
oh, yes, today was her first day teaching at the jail.
she couldn't believe they had finally let her in
she was going to show them a new path
one which she had travelled for ove 25 years
and now she got to give back.
she remembered what cynthia had said that
one weekendi n june
if you can start over here doing what you'll be
doing when you pass why not?
yes, why not indeed thought meghan.
centering prayer took her on her own journey.
her journey was different than the others
they would have to find their own path
their own truth
if she could help in some small way
why not.
vision
what do i want to be
i have 25 years left
do i spend it in school
do i spend it learning
i don't know what to do.
i want to be a successful writer
but at what price though
a beginning
a middle
and an end.
what is my passion?
i don't know.
i am empowered when other people
find their power.
i am least empowered when i have no control over my life.
what do i want most
to give others a chance
their chance
how do i do that?
i have to take cp to the next level.
i have 25 years left
do i spend it in school
do i spend it learning
i don't know what to do.
i want to be a successful writer
but at what price though
a beginning
a middle
and an end.
what is my passion?
i don't know.
i am empowered when other people
find their power.
i am least empowered when i have no control over my life.
what do i want most
to give others a chance
their chance
how do i do that?
i have to take cp to the next level.
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